Transfusion

The space was so dark

I could barely see my feet

I shuffled slowly towards the bed,

as my heart increased its beat.

His hand reached out for mine,

but instead he found my waist.

He pulled me toward him...

Discretion, momentarily misplaced.

I felt his lips, searching for mine

as the darkness began to subside.

I laid my hand against his cheek

and our faces began to collide.

That was when I saw him,

with eyes as red as blood.

The panic began to wash over me,

like a dangerous flash flood.

With a survival reflex,

I turned my head away...

But just like hunters do,

he had already caught his prey.

As my eyes began to close,

he whispered in my ear...

"I promise this won't hurt a bit,

if you stay calm, my dear..."

I was paralyzed by fear

and my undying love for this beast.

So I gave in to temptation,

to be consumed by the deceased.

Much like a tetanus shot,

the bite stung at first,

but after a few seconds...

I conceded to his thirst.

With each ounce of blood

that he drained out of me...

My desire for him grew

and his love was all I could see.

He wanted every part of me,

to be a part of him...

So he drank up all my blood

and tore me limb, from limb.

Sometime during all of this,

I came to the conclusion...

that our love could conquer anything,

except a blood transfusion.

Photo Credit: 3rdEye0pen * Effects Credit: Eric Glaefke

 

Growth in love...

I've been through ups and downs 

and everything in between.

Scarred and damaged, 

by all the crazy shit I've seen. 

But I held on to hope 

and the possibility of salvation.

Managed to thrive and survive 

the emotional starvation.

 

All the strife made me strong 

and clearly able to see.

So I swept away and unloaded

all the things that were harmful to me. 

When nothing but rubble is left, 

there's so much room to rebuild.

To find the other heart that might 

leave my soul fulfilled.

That was when I really saw you, 

close to me as you were.

But I observed you thru different eyes, 

ones that were secure. 

I could see that you were humble 

and very eager to learn...

how to melt my damaged heart, 

like a blazing cigarette burn. 

I had to let it happen, 

because what else could I do?

Somehow I already knew, 

that I was falling in love with you.

But our love couldn't stop 

the mistakes from taking place.

So we had to be prepared... 

for hardship... just in case.

We loaded up our arsenal, 

with patience and restraint.

So when we felt like attacking, 

there was plenty of constraint.

The alternative to fighting, 

was a simple, loving pause.

So then we had each other 

and all our numerous flaws.

In that quiet space of reflection, 

I learned something about you...

I saw how much I meant to you, 

because of what you were willing to do. 

That is where growth happens, 

on the other side of strife.

Where we learn how to roll together, 

with the kicks and punches of life.

Jar of Marbles

Some days life feels impossible

need a reminder of how many times

the Universe has supported me

on my treacherous, uphill climbs

All around me is abundance 

if I choose to see things that way

but pessimism is a demon 

that I battle every day

So when I feel some excitement

or see a shooting star

I know those are both reasons

to put a marble in my jar

When I feel particularly moved

watching my friend play guitar

or I find a few quiet moments

alone in my car

I focus on the positives

by putting a marble in my jar

then I can see all the great things

that have happened to me, so far

All the situations that occur

and the people that I meet

are part of my existence

making isolation obsolete

Each day I find a reason

for gratitude and reflection

trudging through these experiences

looking for some kind of connection

My sacred jar of marbles

Sits there on the shelf

overflowing with positive experiences

that I created for myself

Every time I see it

I'm reminded just how far

my spirit's energy will reach

each time a marble hits that jar

"Jar of Marbles" by 3rdEye0pen * Graphite on paper, 2012

 

Deficient

Hanging on for dear life

trying to figure all this out

looking for signs of compassion

or benefit of doubt

What I find is a sad excuse

for something I've needed since birth

No unconditional love

to feed my self worth

I go to this garden

and find nothing but dirt

so I come back tomorrow

and sow nothing but hurt

It's been so many years

yet the struggle's the same

now that he's gone

I'll take all the blame

Never good enough for you

so my spirit you quell

Content to be your disappointment

it's a roll that I play well

Each time it happens

it catches me by surprise

I let it hurt me all over again

til another part of me dies