Monday, March 2, 2015

From the Archieves Pt. 1 - Dedicated to Christina and Eddie

I decided it was time to blow the dust off some of my old pieces and shine the light on them again.

The pieces that I was particularly drawn to today, where pieces I wrote while pregnant with my daughter and shortly after her birth. They feel especially relevant as we begin the month of March and I reflect on my state of being, some 8 years ago... as I entered my 9th month of pregnancy. 

As I look back on that time, I find I have little memory of my day-to-day feelings and state of being. These pieces bring so much of that back, however. The experience of sharing my body with another human being is something that words can barely describe, but somehow I managed to convey it well enough, that 8 years later, I feel as though I'm right back there again.

The timing of this discovery is also so appropriate and relevant, as one of my dearest and closest friends is currently expecting her first child. A son. The happiness I feel for her and her husband can only be measured in how much I share in their joy and what little bit of my own experience, I can share with them.

So these entries are dedicated to Christina, Eddie and Baby Dahlberg...

***

You Are There - January 2007

You are doing these little things
To let me know that you are there.
When I am rested
Just me and my thoughts, alone at last...
There you go.

You knock on my soul,
Let me know you are there.
They say by now you can hear my voice
And your father's too.

Do you know us yet?

I think you know me.
You are always letting me know when you are there.

When I think that all is lost
And I start to lose myself...
There you go again.

Bouncing and kicking to let me know,
That you are still there.
You may just be living,
But for me,
To know you are there,
Is a comfort I appreciate.

It's me and you now...
And that's not too bad.
Something tells me it's always going to be 
Me and you.

Even if we've got the rest of the world
On our heels.


***



When I Look at You - April 2007

When I look at you
I see little bits of me
I see all that I was
And all you will be

When I look at you
I see parts of him too
Across lashes and brow
To the strength in you

When I look at you
I see love like never before
What I've missed my whole life
How I've wanted nothing more

When I look at you
I know deep in my heart
That you love me too
And that's where I must start

When I look at you
Sometimes I just cry
Because I did something so good
And I didn't even try


***


It amazes me, how completely relevant these words still are today. I could have written most of this just yesterday, or the day before. Although my daughter is almost 8-years-old, she's still very much, my baby. It's the kind of love that never waivers.







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