The quietude of the interlude...

It's easy to love 

when all is well

So easy to be happy

While protected by a shell

It's the trials in life

that test our tenacity

and truly asses

our heart's capacity

Patience is a virtue

or so I've heard

Control an illusion

with a bit of poise inferred 

The true test comes

with living life on life's terms 

To dig in the dirt

without disturbing the worms

I can say I love you

as if it were my identity

But I won't actually mean it

If I loose my serenity

Transfusion

The space was so dark

I could barely see my feet

I shuffled slowly towards the bed,

as my heart increased its beat.

His hand reached out for mine,

but instead he found my waist.

He pulled me toward him...

Discretion, momentarily misplaced.

I felt his lips, searching for mine

as the darkness began to subside.

I laid my hand against his cheek

and our faces began to collide.

That was when I saw him,

with eyes as red as blood.

The panic began to wash over me,

like a dangerous flash flood.

With a survival reflex,

I turned my head away...

But just like hunters do,

he had already caught his prey.

As my eyes began to close,

he whispered in my ear...

"I promise this won't hurt a bit,

if you stay calm, my dear..."

I was paralyzed by fear

and my undying love for this beast.

So I gave in to temptation,

to be consumed by the deceased.

Much like a tetanus shot,

the bite stung at first,

but after a few seconds...

I conceded to his thirst.

With each ounce of blood

that he drained out of me...

My desire for him grew

and his love was all I could see.

He wanted every part of me,

to be a part of him...

So he drank up all my blood

and tore me limb, from limb.

Sometime during all of this,

I came to the conclusion...

that our love could conquer anything,

except a blood transfusion.

Photo Credit: 3rdEye0pen * Effects Credit: Eric Glaefke

 

Growth in love...

I've been through ups and downs 

and everything in between.

Scarred and damaged, 

by all the crazy shit I've seen. 

But I held on to hope 

and the possibility of salvation.

Managed to thrive and survive 

the emotional starvation.

 

All the strife made me strong 

and clearly able to see.

So I swept away and unloaded

all the things that were harmful to me. 

When nothing but rubble is left, 

there's so much room to rebuild.

To find the other heart that might 

leave my soul fulfilled.

That was when I really saw you, 

close to me as you were.

But I observed you thru different eyes, 

ones that were secure. 

I could see that you were humble 

and very eager to learn...

how to melt my damaged heart, 

like a blazing cigarette burn. 

I had to let it happen, 

because what else could I do?

Somehow I already knew, 

that I was falling in love with you.

But our love couldn't stop 

the mistakes from taking place.

So we had to be prepared... 

for hardship... just in case.

We loaded up our arsenal, 

with patience and restraint.

So when we felt like attacking, 

there was plenty of constraint.

The alternative to fighting, 

was a simple, loving pause.

So then we had each other 

and all our numerous flaws.

In that quiet space of reflection, 

I learned something about you...

I saw how much I meant to you, 

because of what you were willing to do. 

That is where growth happens, 

on the other side of strife.

Where we learn how to roll together, 

with the kicks and punches of life.

Jar of Marbles

Some days life feels impossible

need a reminder of how many times

the Universe has supported me

on my treacherous, uphill climbs

All around me is abundance 

if I choose to see things that way

but pessimism is a demon 

that I battle every day

So when I feel some excitement

or see a shooting star

I know those are both reasons

to put a marble in my jar

When I feel particularly moved

watching my friend play guitar

or I find a few quiet moments

alone in my car

I focus on the positives

by putting a marble in my jar

then I can see all the great things

that have happened to me, so far

All the situations that occur

and the people that I meet

are part of my existence

making isolation obsolete

Each day I find a reason

for gratitude and reflection

trudging through these experiences

looking for some kind of connection

My sacred jar of marbles

Sits there on the shelf

overflowing with positive experiences

that I created for myself

Every time I see it

I'm reminded just how far

my spirit's energy will reach

each time a marble hits that jar

"Jar of Marbles" by 3rdEye0pen * Graphite on paper, 2012

 

Deficient

Hanging on for dear life

trying to figure all this out

looking for signs of compassion

or benefit of doubt

What I find is a sad excuse

for something I've needed since birth

No unconditional love

to feed my self worth

I go to this garden

and find nothing but dirt

so I come back tomorrow

and sow nothing but hurt

It's been so many years

yet the struggle's the same

now that he's gone

I'll take all the blame

Never good enough for you

so my spirit you quell

Content to be your disappointment

it's a roll that I play well

Each time it happens

it catches me by surprise

I let it hurt me all over again

til another part of me dies

122

Observant and thoughtful, right from the start

With a bundle of barbed wire, wrapped around my heart

I could have refrained, from engaging with you

but it didn't really feel like the right thing to do

One hundred and twenty-two days...

you like your ham and turkey sub, with light mayonnaise

That's one of the first things I remembered about you

that, and the significance of your one tattoo

I admit I was intrigued, though I fought it at first

But your charismatic ways had me easily coerced 

The whole thing, unplanned and unrehearsed

But a chance for us both, to quench a creeping thirst

Sixteen weeks

and a couple of freaks

Who weren't sure this would make it off the ground

Everyday, amazed, by what we've found

It's surprising what your kiss will incite

counting down the hours, until we reunite

The fire burns hot within us both

a passion with immeasurable growth 

Just a trimester of time, in a calendar year,

has made our sight a little more clear

Now we see that true love can be born, 

where other things were so terribly forlorn

Trying something new and "Nurse Necrophilia"

When you're a writer, dating the lead singer of a horror punk band, the subject of song writing comes up quite a bit. Often times, we "accidentally" come up with scenarios or subjects that would make great horror punk songs, but the songs themselves never seem to get written. We forget to write our concepts down, or time gets away from us and the creative process doesn't get past the brainstorming stage. It's really quite unfortunate, because we've come up with some pretty sick ideas!

I've personally never written a punk song before, let a lone a horror punk song, but Ryan has done it successfully, several times. I'm inspired by his talent and intrigued by the style and subject matter of his writing. He is able to take seemingly abstract ideas or characters... (alien domination, the undead, etc.) and turn them into the kind of poetry that has a flow and cadence that can't help but become music.

I consider horror writing in general, to be a bit outside the box for me. I tend to stick with emotion-based poetry that reflects my mood, or the feelings surrounding certain events in my life. While this type of writing is most natural for me, I realize that if I want to experience something different, I have to venture outside of my comfort zone a bit. I've been looking around me for influences that challenge my creative abilities and force me to try new ideas and approaches to writing.

Tonight he and I had another one of our accidental brainstorming sessions. As we laughed about my attempts to kiss a deliriously sleepy Ryan, I compared the act to making out with someone in a coma...and that is how my first horror punk song was born.

Please be gentle in your critique, as I realize that I don't have any business claiming to write horror punk, or the like. Enjoy!

Oh and... PARENTAL ADVISORY: EXPLICIT CONTENT :)


***
  
Nurse Necrophilia

Have you met this naughty nurse of mine
she takes care of me so well
Checks my vitals every day
I recognize her smell

Yesterday she kissed me
on my almost lifeless lips
climbed up on top of me
wrapped her legs around my hips


(Chorus)

Image courtesy of Little Punk People

This nurse, she wants to f*ck me
but I'm really almost dead
hooked up to machines
trapped in this hospital bed


Every day, death draws nearer
I can feel it in my soul
the machines don't seem to be working
and my nurse lacks self control

Today I felt her touch me
in a place I thought was dead
So still and in a deep sleep
while she gave me coma-head


(Chorus)
This nurse, she wants to f*ck me
but I'm really almost dead
hooked up to machines
trapped in this hospital bed


Sometime late last night
I took just one last breath
Said goodbye to the living
and embraced my final death

As my soul rose above me
I saw my nurse prepare for sin
She was climbing onto my body
as the rigor mortis was setting in

This nurse, she's gonna f*ck me
and there's nothing I can do
because I died two hours ago
and I'm never cumming too